“We believe that in this we have found one of the human foundations on which our societies are built” – Marcel Mauss, The Gift

Do you ever feel that holiday gift giving has become an impersonal, superficial experience? That no matter what you buy it won't be good enough? Does commercialism squelch your holiday spirit?
You're not alone.

In his famous book, The Gift, anthropologist Marcel Mauss investigated the custom and practice of gift giving. The essence of his conclusion was that receiving a gift has the power to force the receiver to reciprocate. This seems to be linked to his belief that the gift has a spiritual relationship to the giver.

The rules of generosity are such that no one is free to refuse the present that is offered thus committing themselves to reciprocate. The result may be a stressful experience where everyone is trying to outdo the other in generosity.

Add to that the sheer volume of product choices in today's market, holiday shopping may become very a elaborate and even stressful experience.

So how did Christmas as we know it today – a festival of marketing fanfare – become so? Was it always like this? Apparently not.
William B Waits in his study and book entitled Modern Christmas in America provides a fascinating history of the holiday.
Santa Claus did not come into any sort of prominence until the 20's and even then as a means to soften the blow of an “impersonal” market providing gifts.

During the 19th Century Americans handmade the items they exchanged during the holidays such as needlework and wooden toys.
With the industrialization in the late 19th century, the custom of presenting handmade gifts began to change from handmade to manufactured gifts.

It appears that between 1880 and 1920 the value of the handmade item was far greater than any sort of manufactured item due to its uniqueness and the time and care devoted to creating it. Waits' in-depth study of the advertising of the day led him to the conclusion that mass produced gifts has the “mass production contamination” which made them, in short, impersonal.

But advertising managers found that just by adding the word “Christmas” or “This holiday season” to the advertising copy they could make an impersonal factory-crafted gift a personal expression of love and friendship. In short, sales went out the roof over the holidays. And so a new tradition was born: commercialized gift giving. (After all, Santa and his elves are up all night making and delivering all of those gifts!)
How can you make gift-giving a more personalized experience this holiday season?

A few ideas:

1. Shop on the web. Or better yet, buy something from a friend who has handmade art or custom made items for sale on her website.
2. Make your own. It might be appreciated more than a new sweater that will never be worn might be appreciated even more. A coupon for “10 evenings of babysitting” might be very valuable than a new stroller to young couple. Just be prepared to make good on your promise!
3. If you give money – make it personal. Not just with a card but with a letter, poem or note expressing your thoughts and appreciation of the person.
4. And remember: I have never met a woman who didn't adore a romantic gift: something pretty and sentimental. The cost matters less than the beauty and the meaning behind it.
Whatever you do, take a moment to put the “personal touch” into your gift giving this season. Dare I say it --- It's not about the money. It's about love.

Michelle Clark is a professional researcher and writer.